the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
