it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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