I wish i was in the wii world.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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