I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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