He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize