She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
