the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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