I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
