and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
