Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
