He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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