is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
