Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Just fell off a train. Bad.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
