i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
