She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Randomize
