I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
