just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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