i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
