I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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