She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize