Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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