Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
