in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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