You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
