your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
