Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
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Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
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They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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