google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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