thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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