it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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