hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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