Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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