Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
