What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Randomize
