can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
