Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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