Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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