stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
