Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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