just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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