You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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