Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
