So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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