I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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