I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
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