well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
