my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize