He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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