i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
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