weddingsv make me drug and hornr
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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