Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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