I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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