you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
