so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
