she was so not down for the gang bang
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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