Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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