I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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