Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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