So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Your penis caused this!
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