"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
