The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
