its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I just cut my nipple shaving
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize
