you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
