is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
