Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
