Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
