scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
