I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
